The Curse of the Black Pearl Mark Two
by Bass Girl '89
Summary: This is going to be a seriously random story. Characters from various other movies and books are going to crop up along the line. I have now come up with a curse. It's rather lame, but it's still a curse. Rating is as is because that's just how it is.
1. Will Remembers The Reunion

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story. Unless I decide to invent some characters, places etc, in which case I own them

A/N. Why hello. This is probably going to be very strange and slightly confusing. At this point in time, I have even less idea of where this story is going to go than my dog has of how Copernicus arrived at the idea that the sun is the centre of the universe. Did that make sense to anyone else? Oh well, you'll get over it. Anyway, let's get on with this and see where we end up shall we?

Chapter 1.

It was Tuesday the 11th of September in the year 1869, at exactly 45 minutes, 34 seconds and 5.87 milliseconds past 10 in the morning. Will rolled over and groaned. Who was the stupid git who'd set the alarm for this ridiculous hour of the morning? (so alarm clocks weren't invented back then, big deal) After he'd opened his eyes to actually find the clock to turn the alarm off rather then randomly trying to hit and doing equal damage to the hand, bedside table and anything on the bedside table except the clock, he sat up.

It was a beautiful day. Sunny etc (I can't be bothered going into great detail about the weather). Elizabeth would have been bouncing off the walls and wanting him to do daft things like take her out rowing or into the forest for a picnic (shut up, there is a forest now). But thankfully she was in England, attending to "family affairs", namely going to various random people's random parties and getting completely pissed.

Will got up, had a birdbath and got dressed. He was about to go down for breakfast, when he looked at the calendar, which hung on the bedroom wall. It was a hideous thing, with a different picture of a different flower for every month. This months flower was a sickly pink thing which might just have been able to pass itself off as a rose, but only if the person looking at it couldn't see anything clearly if it was more than a few inches in front of their face. Anyway, getting back from the tangent about calendars, Will was staring rather fixedly at this one. The 11th of September...what was happening that day? Suddenly he remembered. Holy Shit! He was supposed to be having a little get together with Jack Sparrow and the crew of the Pearl at precisely 11:17!

Will shot down the stairs four at a time, missed his footing at the bottom, and landed in a not so graceful heap on the floor. He got up, didn't bother to dust himself off, and shot out the door, through the flyscreen (shush. It was invented back then now) and down the road, trailing a stream of swearing as he went which amounted to something along the lines of HolyShit HolyFuckHolyShitHolyFuckHolyShitHolyFuckHolyShitHolyFuckHolyShitHolyFuckHolyShitHolyFuckHolyShitHolyFuck and then reduced itself to shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshirt shitshitshitshitshit.

A/N. So? How was it? Well I did warn you it was going to be random. OK, so it's kinda short, but was it alright anyway? Please review. Please? Oh come on...do you want me get down on my knees? Yes? Fine! Look! I'm on my knees! Now will you review? You know you want to...oh come on, be nice and help me beat my record of two. Please? Thank you!!;)

Lexi G


	2. Jack's Up The Rigging

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story. Unless I decide to invent some characters, places etc, in which case I own them

A/N. Hello again. Thank you to the one extremely lovely person who reviewed the last chapter. So, now that that's over with, lets see what sort of random things I can come up with this time. Oh, and by the way, the sensible little voice in my head may interject at some points. sensible little voice: What do you mean 'may'?

Chapter 2.

Will arrived panting on the docks and looked around panting. After about ten minutes searching, he spotted a ship on the far wharf that looked vaguely Pearl like and headed for that one. As he drew closer, a wailing sound sprang in to existence. "Yo hooooooooooooooo, yo hooooooooooooooooo, a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiraaaaaaaates liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife foooooooor meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" The last note, which is only being referred to as a note because I can't think of a more suitable name right now, of the song had only just finished when the wailing started again, this time from the start of the song. Will resolutely stuck his fingers in his ears and strode up the gangplank. At the top he met Anna Maria, who was still wearing that daft hat of hers.

"Hey Anna Maria."

"Oh thank god you've arrived Will. Jack's up the rigging singing and we can't get him down."

"Yes I'd noticed he was somewhere in the general vicinity of the rigging. Did you say singing? If that's what you call singing, then you've got some serious problems. It's worse than the music director at my school." (Sorry, just had to throw that in on the off chance that someone from Tintern might read this)

"We were hoping you could get him down, we've trying since eight o'clock last night."

"Oh, is that what that noise was. I thought some idiot must have knocked the attack siren and set it off. I'll see what I can do."

Will duly set off up the rigging. By the time he reached the same level as Jack, the sound of his "singing" had more than quadrupled in volume. Will was unsure as to whether this was because he had moved closer or Jack had just more enthused with the song. After waiting a couple of minutes to see if Jack noticed him, Will began his removal campaign.

"Jack."

"...REALLY BAD EGGS..."

"Jack."

"...YO HO..."

"JackJackJackJackJackJackJackJackJackJack..."

This line of intelligent conversation continued for some hours (five, to be exact) with Jack sing the same song at the top of his voice over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, sensible little voice: OK, OK that's enough of that now. Me: Oh, Ok. again and Will repeating Jack's name in a constant, never ending stream (without breathing) sensible little voice: How can he talk for six hours without breathing? Me: Shut up you. After said six hours, Will stopped his flow of 'Jack' and frowned. He then drew a deep breath and bellowed as loud as he could (there reports of echoes being heard in Casablanca, wherever that is); "JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Jack stopped singing abruptly and looked around. Spotting Will, he called out

"Hello there Will! Lovely day for it, eh!"

Will blinked and shook his head to try and stop the ringing in his ears. Jack had an extremely loud voice when he put his mind to it. Especially when the victim of that voice was only two feet away. After the ringing had stopped, Will attempted ('attempted' being the operative word) to execute part to of his removal campaign calmly. In a somewhat less relaxed voice than he would have liked, he began persuading Jack to come down out of the rigging.

"Jack, it might be a good idea if you came down now."

"Whatever for? It's beautiful day and I'm perfectly happy where I am."

"No really, it would be a good idea to come down now Jack."

"I still don't see why."

"Look, do I have to make you?"

"Make me? Ha! Will, you couldn't make Captain Jack Sparrow do anything in a pink fit!"

"Jack, if you don't come down, I'll use my authority as governor of Port Royal to have the Pearl confiscated, dismembered nail by nail, plank by plank etc, cut up into fire wood and distributed to the poor."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me."

There was a definite steely note in Will's voice now. Whether Jack noticed that note or it was the thought of his precious ship being cut up into firewood, or perhaps touched by anyone less important than the Queen of Sheba, he gave up at that point and climbed down the rigging with Will. After attempting to look sulky and failing miserably, he muttered something to Mr Cotton about getting under way and slouched off to his cabin, kicking things as he went and slamming the door as he went. The sound of shouting, sobbing, glass breaking and other noises generally associated with temper tantrums followed. Will stared at the closed door for half an hour or so and then raised an eyebrow in the general direction of Anna Maria.

"Don't worry Will. It's nothing personal. He'll be over it and in the best of spirits by morning. He just gets a little bit temperamental sometimes."

"It's a habit someone should try to break him of, you know."

"What makes you think I haven't been trying?"

"And failing quite spectacularly, by the looks of it."

"All right, all right. No need to rub salt on open wounds. That's actually why I got you here. I was hoping you might be able to help. And no, it wasn't him that invited you, it was me."

"I'll try to help...How long's he been like that?"

"How long's he had the mental capacity of a seven year old? Oh about four years now."

"Right...Mr Cotton where are we headed to?"

Me: since we all know that Mr Cotton is mute and his parrot talks for him, I'm going to have to make up some random lines here

"Land ho! Land ho!"

Will raised a questioning eyebrow at Anna Maria.

"We decided that means Tortuga."

"Tortuga...I think I may be able to work with that. Let's get to it shall we?"

A/N. Well? Was that Ok? That's the longest chapter I've ever written. Two pages and three lines...Aren't you proud of me? Now please will you review? Thanks! ;)

Lexi G


	3. Jack's Breakfast and enter Tortuga

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story. Unless I decide to invent some characters, places etc, in which case I own them

A/N. Hey guys! (That's a collective term, so if anyone is feeling particularly feminist just keep your hair on). Thanks for all the reviews. Yes Nemo, I know being governor is seriously un-Willish, but he married Elizabeth and I decided to make the post hereditary. So that's how he ended up being governor. So… I think I feel the urge to introduce some characters from other books, movies etc in this chapter. So don't be surprised if some random totally unrelated character suddenly pops up. sensible little voice: yeah, yeah. Keep it moving. me: all right all right. Patience is a virtue. sensible little voice: which I don't have. Now lets go! me: well you can just hold your horses 'cause I'm the one running this show, not you. Anyway. Sorry it's taken so long to get this up. I got kind of busy towards the end of the year and things just kind of heaped up. So. Try not to be _too _mad at me. Add to that the fact that schools just kicked off again and, me being me, I'm doing anything extra I can/am allowed to. So. Moving right along.

Chapter 3.

The Pearl was three days out from Port Royal when things started to get seriously bad. Not that they hadn't been for the past two days or anything, it was just that things were getting worse.

Will woke up, made his usual pathetic effort at hitting the alarm clock and then discovered that there wasn't one and he was in a heap on the floor, having just fallen out of his hammock. He picked himself up off the floor and went to the window. sensible little voice: it's called a port hole. me: do you mind! sensible little voice: not in the least. Fine, he went to the port hole. The sun was only just beginning to appear over the edge of the horizon. Obviously no one else was up yet. Excellent. He'd have the whole ship to himself. Will stretched, opened the door and went out onto the deck. It was a gorgeous morning. The sun was shining, the non existent birds were singing, sensible little voice: how does that work? me: no idea. Now shut up and get back in you box. sensible little voice: pushy pushy (muttering heard in box) etc etc. Will sat down and settled in to watch the sun finish rising. Jacks mental state had declined in the last three days. His mental age had gone from seven down to five.

Just then, he heard a door creak open and close quietly behind him. The only door on the ship that creaked was Jacks. And it creaked for a very good reason.

Will sat and listened to Jack attempting to creep up behind him. He knew what would come next. Jack would through himself on his back, shout "Uncle Will! Uncle Will!" several times and blow raspberries in his ear, insist on being given a piggy back around the deck and then drag Will down to the kitchen to arrange something to eat. It was like a morning ritual that had been established from the very first morning. It felt kind of strange, ordering a man who was at least fifteen years older than himself around and treating him like a son or nephew. As Will was the only one Jack would listen to, he had ended up being the primary care giver. Happy days.

Just then, Jack launched his morning attack, interrupting Will's reverie. Will sighed and hoisted him onto his back. Giving Jack a piggyback ride was no mean feat, considering that Jack was at least an inch the taller of the two. He completed his circuit of the deck and Jack climbed down. He grabbed Wills hand and towed him over to the galley.

"I want breakfast, Uncle Will."

"Where've your manners gone, young man?" It still felt awkward, addressing him like that.

"Don't have any." Jack was obviously feeling cheeky.

"Yes you do. You've got lovely manners, and until you start using them, you wont get anything to eat." Jack crossed his arms and glared.

"Don't want to."

"Oh well then. That's your choice." Will turned to leave. Jack started to whimper, and when Will opened the door emitted a howl of annoyance.

"But I want breakfast!" Jack sobbed. Will sighed and turned 'round.

"Only if you say please." Jack sobbed for half a minute and then managed a very squeaky 'please'. Will smiled and set about getting breakfast. By the time it was ready, Jack had recovered himself and was perfectly cheerful.

Breakfast over, the two of them went out on deck to join the others.

As the day wore on, Jack got progressively more destructive/annoying and the temper tantrums multiplied. By three in the afternoon, Will was tearing his hair trying to think what to do, and everyone else was tearing their hair trying to think of something for Will to do to make Jack shut up, or, preferably, go away.

By the time four o'clock came 'round, Will had sunk onto a conveniently placed barrel, and put his head between his hands. The general opinion was that he was praying, which he was, after a fashion. What was really happening was that he was repeating the mantra;

"Please let us be nearly there, please let us be nearly there…" over and over. Suddenly a random dude with really long white hair and a matching beard appeared out of nowhere. He was wearing shiny black boots with silver buckles and long, flowing, emerald green robes. He gave Will a strangely piercing look over the top of his gold rimmed half moon spectacles.

"You wish you were where?" Will looked up and jumped at finding some random in weird clothes on the ship.

"I wish we were in Tortuga. Jack's being a pain in the ass and I'm beginning to consider murder." The old man looked slightly bemused.

"Oh come now. That would never do. Let me see…Tortuga…yes I believe we can do that." He smiled waved what appeared to be a wand. Voila, Tortuga materialised. Will gaped. After ha had collected his jaw from the floor and restored his eyes to their regular positions, he looked around for the strange old man to thank him. But he was nowhere to be seen and no one else had even noticed him. Will shook his head and went to help tie up the ship.

A/N. Yeah, that was pretty random. But that's not really surprising, since I wrote it over a period of about eight days, all spread out so the whole process took like, three months. So anyway, if you rr, I'll be your best friend and come on, who wouldn't want that? ;)

Lexi G


	4. The Curse

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story. Unless I decide to invent some characters, places etc, in which case I own them

A/N. Once again, hello. It is I. Your absolute favourite, self-glorifying author. Yeah, that was kind of random. Guess I'm in one of those moods. OK, this chapter's going to be really short 'cause I don't have much time before I have to go do other stuff. Note the 'stuff'. It's as oppose to things. So, I'd better get on with it. Oh, and Jinxeh, I really don't have the faintest idea about anything to do with X-Men, but I'll have ago in the next chapter, provided I don't forget.

Chapter 4.

Will took a firm hold on Jack's hand and headed off to find somewhere to stay. He was accompanied by Cotton and Anna-Maria (NOTHING SUSS! No really, there isn't). The rest of the crew were to stay and guard the boat, sorry, ship. They found the least sleezy/cleanest place they could and booked four rooms for an indefinite period of time. After taking their luggage etc up, they assembled in the common room.

Will sat and watched Jack mingling with the whores while Cotton went and attempted to order drinks. Anna-Maria got impatient and went to help. Apparently the inn-keeper hadn't quite figured that 'heave to' meant 'I want a rum, a gin and tonic and a red wine.' sensible little voice: you know, pirates are all supposed to drink rum. me: says who? And anyway, Will isn't a pirate and Anna-Maria is a female pirate. sensible little voice: and that makes all the difference. me: naturally Will ignored the rigmarole being played out at the bar and continued to watch Jack. He had hoped that the whores might be able to bring Jack to himself, but apparently no such luck. He sighed and turned to receive his wine.

"Perhaps you should tell me exactly how Jack came to be on the receiving end of this curse and what it entails." Anna-Maria thought for a moment. Then she placed her drink on the table and frowned at it for a minute or two. Finally she began to speak.

"Four years ago, we were in Brazil. We had sailed up the Amazon a short way and had come to a small mining village. The reports were that it was very prosperous and Jack decided that we should go ahead with plundering it. Apparently the old resident witch wife objected. She picked Jack out as the leader and cursed him. We just ignored it at first, because nothing seemed to be happening. Then after a while, we noticed that he was starting to act differently, more immaturely if you like. After three years, he hit the whole angsty adolescent stage and we decided we needed help. So we came to you."

"But his mental situation deteriorated further in the next year?"

"Yes. The speed with which it got worse increased too."

"Can you tell me exactly what this curse said?"

"It was something to do with gradually getting younger, and then having to grow up again. Can't remember the exact wording."

Will leant back in his chair and sighed. This was going to be tricky

"Well, the only two courses of action that I can see, are either we wait for him to grow up again, which could be a painful process, or we find the witch wife and persuade her to break the course." Anna-Maria looked gloomy and grunted. Cotton looked gloomy and tried to grunt.

Will looked over at Jack again. The extremely enthusiastic whores were still having no effect. But then, considering the curse, they wouldn't really would they? Five year olds don't even know what whores are. Such ran the thoughts of Will until he was pulled out of his thoughts by Anna-Maria suggesting that it was time for his lord ship to go to bed. Will sighed and got up to rescue Jack from the tangle of desperate women.

A/N. Well, I did say it was going to be really short. Personally, I thought it was pretty good for half an hour, considering the speed of my typing. I kind of thought an explanation of the curse was necessary. For your benefit and mine. Pretty pathetic curse really, but there it is. Please RR, and don't bother nagging about updates, I'm working on it.

Lexi G


	5. Exit Tortuga

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story. Unless I decide to invent some characters, places etc, in which case I own them

A/N. OK, I'm running out of fancy ways to say hello, so I'm not gonna bother this time. Right. Next chapter. I promised one of my fantastic, no frills, frenetic, fun, fabulous, far fetched…and I can't think of any more 'f' words…(sorry wee quote from my school principal. She actually said that in general assembly one day, in front of 1200 girls and at least 70 teachers. Also sorry that those aren't all necessarily compliments, I just used all the adjectives starting with 'f' I could think of) reviewers that I would attempt to weave X-Men into this chapter, but it didn't happen. I promise it will next chapter though, so just hold your horses. So with out further ado, Chapter 5, take it away.

* * *

Chapter 5. 

The next morning, Will settled the bill with the landlady (which was quite a novelty for her, considering no one had ever bothered before), collected Jack and headed back to the Pearl. After explaining the situation to the crew, Will installed Jack firmly in his cabin and locked the door from the outside. They then proceeded to weigh anchor and leave Tortuga.

The journey was relatively quiet/boring for the first couple of days. This was only so because Jack was sulking. Apparently he had liked having roughly twenty women who were all at least four times his own mental age crawling all over him and had been extremely hacked off when he had been forced to leave his 'aunties' behind. He had evidently become very attached to a buxom young blonde called Rosaline, whom he had dubbed 'aunty Wosa', no longer being able to say the letter 'r' correctly. Will and the crew proceeded to ignore this fixation. They figured Jack would get over it eventually. And, surprisingly enough, they were right.

The journey continued to be incredibly boring for about the next two and half weeks, then a bit of interest was added to lives of those on board the Black Pearl.

* * *

A/N. That was a seriously short chapter huh? Sorry about that, it's just, I started typing this ages ago and then forgot about it and wrote what I thought was going to be chapter five but is now evidently going to be chapter six, so I just had to kind of bring this one to a quick close. Probably doesn't even really count as a chapter, but hey. R&R as always. 

Lexi G


	6. Unexpected Guests

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story. Unless I decide to invent some characters, places etc, in which case I own them

A/N. Hi people. Welcome to chapter 6. X-Men are involved as promised. Thanks to Jinxeh for the info about them, I can pretty much guaranty I got most of it wrong anyway though, so yeah, you probably did waste three minutes explaining it to me. I can't be bothered with a great long explanation, so lets just get on with it.

* * *

Chapter 6.

"Uncle Will! Uncle Will! Uncle Will!" Will groaned and rolled over. He was confronted by the sight of an extremely over excited Jack. How the hell had he got into the cabin? And at this ridiculous hour too? The clock on the bedside table was showing five o'clock. Jack wasn't showing any sign of giving up. He seemed to be determined that Will should get up right this instant.

"What is it Jack? Uncle Will's trying to sleep." Jack seized his hand and began tugging.

"You have to get up _now _Uncle Will! There's funny people on the ship."

"Yes Jack, they're called the crew. And it's not nice to talk about our friends like that." Jack rolled his eyes and stamped. Clearly he thought what he was trying to convey was blatantly obvious and that Will was being thick.

"No Uncle Will. They're not funny; they're _boring_ (A/N. he means the crew). There's _other _funny people on board."

"Well, Uncle Will will come and have a look in a few hours. Now go away." Jack sighed heavily and stamped out of the room, slamming the door and swearing fluently as he went. Apparently his decreasing mental age hadn't affected his vocabulary. Will considered going after him and giving him a good upbraiding, but gave up on that idea when he realised that that would mean going out onto the deck, in which case Jack would have won. He went back to sleep instead.

* * *

Will reawoke at the much more hospitable time of eight o'clock, having completely forgotten about Jack's 'funny people'. He got up, washed, dressed, made his bed, tidies his room, and generally acted like the prissy little goody two shoes that he was (A/N. albeit an incredibly hot goody two shoes.) Having tidied himself and his cabin, Will went out onto the deck. He was just heading for the galley in search of something to eat, when something shiny caught his eye up in the rigging. He was inclined to disregard it as Jack messing about up there again, but that idea was shot down in full flight by Anna-Maria emerging from the galley with Jack hanging off her arm. On seeing Will, the latter of the two disengaged himself and ran over.

"Uncle Will! Uncle Will! Now will you look at the funny people?" He pointed skywards. Will looked at Anna-Maria, who nodded. He slowly tilted his head back to look into the rigging. The sight that met his eyes made his jaw drop. A group of people were climbing about roughly thirty feet above the deck. The glint that had caught his eye appeared to be two clusters of knives gripped by one of the figures. Will also noticed that one of the others appeared t have a tail and was, of all the strange colours, blue. Evidently it was some kind of outlandish creature. Will looked back at Anna-Maria.

"Are we doing anything about them?"

"No. They're leaving us alone, so we're leaving them alone. And it's not like they're doing any damage." Will shrugged and went to get food, sparing one last glance for the creatures now inhabiting the rigging.

* * *

When Will left the galley, he found that the group of strange beings had abandoned the rigging and were now standing in a small cluster. One of them split off and approached Will. It was the one bearing the clusters of knives, except that Will could now see that they weren't clustered, but spaced evenly across his hands. He was a tall man, with brown hair and sideburns.

"Who's the leader round here?" Will frowned slightly.

"I'm the acting captain, if that's what you mean." The man sneered.

"I want the captain, not his deputy." The mans tone was starting to irritate Will. He wasn't normally easy to frustrate, but there was something about this man that rubbed him up the wrong way.

"For your information, the captain is indisposed, and I am not his deputy. I assume you mean first mate by deputy. I am a personal friend who was asked to take control of the situation." Jack chose this exact moment to skip out of his cabin, go over to Will, and grab his hand. He then proceeded to jump up and down chanting "Uncle Will! Uncle Will! Uncle Will!". This had apparently become his favourite phrase. The strange man looked taken aback. Obviously he wasn't used to fully-grown men behaving in this manner.

"This is your nephew, friend of the captain?" Will sighed. He was going to have to perform introductions. Something he had, for some inexplicable reason, been hoping to avoid.

"Jack?" The chanting and jumping continued. "JACK!" It ceased. Over the course of the three weeks since leaving Tortuga, Jack had learned to obey that tone of voice. "Now, Jack, this is…uh…"

"Logan." The stranger supplied.

"Thanks. Jack, this is Logan. Logan, this is Jack Sparrow. He's the captain of the Black Pearl." Jack looked sulky.

"It's _Captain _Jack Sparrow." Will cuffed him lightly.

"Don't be rude Jack. Now, run along and tell Mr Cotton to get us under way."

"Yes Uncle Will." Will and Logan watched him go. Then Logan returned to present happenings.

"Is there somewhere we can talk? I need to introduce my friends to you, and you need to tell us about the current circumstances." Will thought for a moment.

"That would have to be the dining cabin. It's the only room big enough, or with enough seats, excepting the crews quarters, and I don't think we'll risk going in there."

* * *

Will watched as Logan and his friends arrayed them selves around the cabin, three of them at one of the tables and the others on various perches around the room, mainly on the other tables. Will seated himself at the same table as the three and looked around. It was relatively disturbing to find oneself sitting opposite a being with blue skin, a tail, yellow eyes, and three fingers on each hand. The blue creature was conversing with the man seated next it in a strange language. Will found that he was having a hard time not staring at the thing.

After a while, he managed to drag his eyes away long enough to scan the room for Logan. He found him standing in a corner having a heated discussion with a man with virulent red hair. As Will watched, Logan threw up his hands and strode over to the table, taking a spare seat next to the blue creature. Will was quite glad that Logan hadn't chosen to sit next to him. He didn't look to be in what could have classified as a good mood. After a few moments, the red haired man came and sat down in the spare seat between Will and the man at the head of the table. Logan wasn't looking as if he was feeling at all disposed towards performing introductions, so Will waited for him to calm down and the other occupants of the cabin chatted among themselves and Logan scowled at the opposite wall.

After about twenty minutes, Logan appeared to recover himself. He sat up a little straighter and his expression cleared. The talking around the room stopped as everyone looked expectantly at Logan, who in turn looked at the man at the head of the table, who looked back at Logan, who looked back at him, who looked back at Logan…sensible little voice: alright, alright, enough all ready. me: spoil sport. Apart from the red head seated next to Will and the man next the blue thing; this man was probably the most normal in appearance. The only thing about him that struck Will as slightly odd was the reddish pink tint of his glasses. Will decided there must be a perfectly good reason for this and tuned into what they were saying. The man in the glasses was speaking.

"Well, Wolverine, you know our young friend the best, you'd better do the introductions." Will bristled. Young! He decided it was be best to keep his feelings about that comment to himself. The other thing that bothered him was the fact that the bespectacled man had just addressed Logan as Wolverine. What the! sensible little voice: they didn't say that back then. me: says who? sensible little voice: me. me: well screw you. You can be pedantic about such things when it's you writing the story, not me Will dragged himself back from his not so fascinating thoughts to what Logan was saying. It proved to be a singularly boring, long winded, lecture about who he and his friends were, what their group was called, etc, etc, and so forth (A/N. Sorry, our school musical this year was The King And I and that's one of my favourite lines, along with 'tis a puzzlement'). IT didn't sound much like introductions, so Will tuned out again.

When Will returned to reality for the third time in what he guessed to be roughly forty minutes, it was to find everyone giving him strange looks. Logan looked slightly worried…or it could have been confused, it was hard to tell.

"Uh, are you OK?" This comment confused Will.

"Yeah, of course I am. Why?"

"You just looked kind of out of it." Will shrugged.

"Yeah, well, shit happens." More strange looks ensued. Logan cleared his throat.

" Yes…well…anyway. Everyone, this is Will. Will, this is everyone." Will looked confused.

"And does everyone have names?" Now Logan looked confused.

"What do you want to know their names for?" Will sighed.

"So that I can talk to them of course. I can't very well just call them all 'hey you." Logan still looked confused.

"I can't see why not. There's nothing wrong with 'hey you' is there?"

"Please just tell me their names Logan?"

"Oh all right. I still it's superfluous to the current situation though." Will tried to keep from pulling his own hair out by the roots and had mild success.

"PLEASE?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm getting there. Ok. The dude at the end of the table with the glasses is Cyclops. He's in charge of our little alliance and is a complete and utter tight ass." Cyclops scowled. Logan carried on; oblivious to the look he was currently on the receiving end of. Will was glad it wasn't being directed at him. It was just about cold enough to freeze hell. "That idiot sitting next to you, Will, is Jean Grey. He's a fuck wit and is rapidly descending down my list of favourite people…in fact I think he just fell off the bottom. Moving on. The one on the other side of Cyclops is Rogue. I wouldn't advise touching him unless you're wearing gloves." Will looked confused. "Don't worry, I'll consider explaining later. The dude with the blue skin is Kurt Wagner, or Night Crawler. Either or, it doesn't really matter. The rest are too minor to feature, and obviously you know who I am." Will nodded, looking slightly vague. The strange guests were starting to think that perhaps that was his usual expression.

"Well, I suppose I had better introduce you to the crew, hadn't I?"

"Yeah, that might help." Will stood and went to the door. He pulled it open and jumped out of the way with a yell of surprise as the entire crew, excluding Jack, tumbled through the door. Apparently they had all been their utmost best to eavesdrop. Will turned to his guests. They all looked slightly amazed.

"Well, this is the crew." The strangers surveyed the heap of bodies on the floor and nodded slowly, still looking stunned. Will left them to perform their own introductions and went in search of Jack. The absence of the hyper active captain was disturbing him.

* * *

A/N. Well, that was chapter six, and my weak attempt at X-Men. In case you're wondering, the others were left out because my extremely limited knowledge of X-Men doesn't extend to their names, appearances etc. Anyway. Feel free to review and give me more ideas.

Lexi G


	7. An Unexpected Party

A/N. Hi all. First up, thank you very much to my wonderful adviser in all things X-Men, Jinxeh who has pointed out in the nicest way possible that I know jack (no pun intended) all about X-Men and that Jean Grey and Rogue are in fact female. Thank you also to Avalon's Mists, but I'm afraid Jinxeh beat you to it.

Ok, next on the list of things to say. Thanks loads to my **two** reviewers for chapter 6. And guess what? That's two lots of thanks Jinxeh just got in a row. Isn't she a lucky girl?

Thirdly. This is going to be majorly weird. Mainly because I'm majorly weird. So yeah. I think that might be all. Or it is at the moment anyway. Hold it. No it isn't. Sorry I haven't updated for ages, life tends to be slightly hectic.

Onwards and upwards! irritating little voice: technically, me: do you want me to tell you where to shove that, or can you guess?

* * *

Chapter 7.

Will stood outside the dining cabin and studied a knot in the deck. Then he looked up at the rigging. All this gazing at random objects in his surrounds wasn't helping, so he climbed up to the poop deck and sat on the top step. He knew he should be trying harder to find Jack, but he just couldn't really be bothered and anyway, how much trouble could he really get into? Will realised what he'd just thought and hurriedly retracted that particular thought. Jack could get into a lot of trouble just by standing still. Mainly because one of his multitude of enemies managed to catch up to him if he stood still. But that wasn't a current concern, considering they were on a ship in the middle of whoop whoop land, or sea in this case. Will sighed and stood up to start looking.

* * *

Meanwhile back in the cabin, interesting happenings were occurring irritating little voice: that doesn't make sense. me: up yours. The crew and the group of outlandish beings had managed to stop standing about gawking at each other long enough sit down and perform something vaguely resembling civilised introductions. So now they were sitting about gawking at each other, as opposed to standing about. With the exception of Anna Maria who was gazing blankly at the ceiling and thinking idly about a dream she had had the previous night that had involved purple seagulls, a flying wombat or two and a castle on a cloud… 

Eventually Cyclops managed to pull himself together and start what he hoped would be a vaguely sensible and possibly informative conversation, although he doubted that any of the miscreants he and his gang appeared to have landed in the middle of were capable of being helpful…or informative.

"So. Would you mind informing us of what the exact situation here is?" He looked around at the other occupants of the cabin.

"Pieces of eight, pieces of eight." Cyclops sighed. He'd feared he wouldn't get much in the way of a sensible answer.

"You're looking for pieces of eight? You like pieces of eight? You have pieces of eight? You want pieces of eight? COULD WE HAVE SOME MORE DETAIL HERE!" He was greeted with a lot of mildly surprised looks.

"Keep you're hair on mate! It's not the parrots fault he's got a limited vocabulary." Cyclops stared at the woman facing him from the other end of the table. Namely Anna Maria.

"It was the parrot?"

"Of course it was the parrot you great oaf. Mr Cotton trained it to speak for him when he had his tongue cut out."

"So it was just the parrot reciting some random and utterly meaningless phrase it's picked up somewhere?"

"NO! Are you deaf buddy! Mr Cotton trained it to talk for him!" Cyclops was getting thoroughly confused by this point, much to the amusement of his friends.

"But he's mute!"

"And? The parrot has specific phrases for what ever it want's to say."

"So what was it saying?"

"That you're too thick to understand so there's no point trying to explain what we're doing." Cyclops stared at her while his face turned an interesting shade of purple. He opened and shut his mouth a few times, and then slouched back in his chair with his arms folded and a thoroughly put out expression on his face.

Jean Grey observed this little exchange with considerable amusement, one eyebrow cocked slightly.

"Honestly! There's not point sulking, Cyclops. Have you people got anything to drink on this tub?"

Anna Maria bristled at this.

"This ain't no tub lady, it's a ship! And a damn good one!" She flounced out of the room to find something drinkable, preferably alcoholic.

The occupants of the cabin sat in silence after her departure. Someone whistled. Everyone glared at him. He stopped whistling. Wolverine tapped his fingers absently on the table. Mr Cotton's dagger landed dangerously close to his hand, point down in the table.

"What the bloody hell was that for!" He tried to look injured and ended up looking kind of constipated.

"Reef the sails!" shrieked the parrot. Everyone not in the know looked confused.

"The bird means that everyone was enjoying the silence, and you ruined it." Wolverine pulled a face at the parrot and joined Cyclops in sulking.

* * *

Up on the deck, Will was still sitting on the steps staring at nothing much. His thoughts however, had gained some direction. Namely Elizabeth. irritating voice: fluffiness ahoy! me: I don't do fluffy…or not much, anyway 

"Will? Will!" Will stopped staring at a cloud and thinking about how much it looked like…Elizabeth…or some of her anyway, and looked down at the deck and Anna Maria.

"What?"

"Want to come back into the cabin? We're going to have a drink." Will shook his head.

"Nah. I should probably see if I can find Jack…" She shrugged.

"You know where to find us." Will watched her disappear back into the cabin. He probably should have a look about for Jack…but that cloud was so much more interesting…

* * *

Back in the cabin, Anna Maria's return was greeted with cheers all 'round. She would have liked to think they were all that pleased to see her, but she suspected the gayety now pervading the cabin had more to do with the bottles she was carrying than her personally. She set the bottles down on the table, took one for herself, and then got out of the way before she could get squashed in the stampede that ensued. Even Wolverine and Cyclops came out of their sulking fits to grab a bottle. 

Rogue took a swig from her bottle and promptly spat it out again.

"What in Gods name is this!" Anna Maria flicked an eyebrow.

"It's rum."

"You drink rum?"

"Welcome to the Caribbean love."

"Isn't there anything else?"

"Sea water?" Rogue pulled a face.

"It's all good. I'll cope."

Several hours and much rum later, there was a raucous party in full swing in the cabin. What had started out as a civil drink shared with guests hadn't remained as such for long.

Will finally got up off his step, having decided there wasn't much to keep him there anymore, his cloud having blown away several hours ago. He stretched, discarded the idea of searching for Jack for the umpteenth time that day, and went into the cabin, from whence sounds of merriment were issuing. Opening the door, he was confronted with the sight of one of the strangers dancing on the table and the crew and the rest of the strangers gathered 'round the table cheering. Anna Maria was leaning on the wall looking on. She passed Will a bottle as he joined her.

"What's happening?" Will shouted over the noise.

"Apparently that's what people do at parties where they come from." Anna Maria shouted back. Will shrugged. After a few minutes, Anna Maria grabbed his hand and towed him over to the table, having evidently decided that it was time to start being sociable.

If an observer had looked through the window several more hours later, they would have found that Jack had materialised at some point and was then engaged in doing a striptease on the table. He had in fact appeared not all that terribly long after Will had joined the party. No one seemed too bothered about the fact that a man with the mental capacity of a five year old was quite happily revealing himself to the entire room, accompanied by some rather interesting actions. This was probably more due to the fact that they were all too pissed to worry than anything else.

* * *

A/N. Well…that was slightly…alternative. Meh. Deal with it. I did warn you that it was going to be different. Anyway, I'm afraid that you're going to have to wait with baited breath for the next instalment. I.e. until I get around to writing the next chapter. All reviews and pointers on X-Men related stuff welcome until then. Until then…aurevoir. 


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